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Do You Have Neighbor Problems?


Woman with insomnia lying in bed with open eyes
It’s a quiet night in suburbia. Everyone in the house has been in bed for hours. A night light throwing soft green light down the hallway is the only sign that your home is inhabited. A lone streetlight is a faint reminder of the outside world. It fades softly through the curtains – spreading abstract shadows and shapes across the walls of the bedroom. You are laying under the cloudless night sky, the roof, the ceiling, and your heavy down comforter. You feel the reassuring weight of all of them as your next exhale eases you further into the mattress, pushing all of today’s buzzing to-dos from your mind. All that’s left is the most recent episode of your favorite bedtime show, replaying over and over behind your eyes. The familiar voices call you closer and closer to sleep, but then…


The calm, comfort, and promise of sleep clamor away like startled birds. The noise springs your eyelids open and irritation begins to pool in your furrowed brow. Meditation, ocean sounds, and a melatonin wouldn’t provide you with half as much peace as a yelling match across the fence in your PJs.

It’s those neighbors again…

Sound Familiar?

If you’re feeling an itch of familiarity, you might have neighbor issues. Maybe they throw parties, argue loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear, or leave full trash bags in their driveway (who does that??). Your loved ones have probably told you to ignore it, get earplugs, or stay out of their business. You’ve probably had a couple conversations with these neighbors through clenched teeth. You’ve asked them to consider other people’s feelings, asking them to leave town, but nothing works. So what can you do when thinly veiled threats and flaming paper bags of excrement are all you can think about?

Make Friends

Woman holding a wrapped giftThat’s right, you heard me – don’t burst a blood vessel. You know the famous saying: Keep your friends close and your bad neighbors closer?

It works! People are much more likely to respond to a friendly request from someone they like than to a demand from someone they don’t. Make conversation, offer them baked goods when you have extra (don’t poison them, it’s not worth the jail time), or even offer to watch their pet tarantula when they go on vacation. “Sucking up” isn’t fun, but getting on their good side will be worth it in the long run.

Ask Nicely

It’s a skill we learned in preschool and somehow lost along the way to adulthood. In the customer service world, we call this “request and suggest, don’t command and demand.” Instead of saying, “Keep it down or I’m calling the cops,” try, “Hey man, it’s 11pm. Can you please try to be a little quieter? I suggest you lower the volume if you don’t want to start a neighborhood riot.” It’s harder to start a fight with someone who isn’t looking to start a fight with you.

When All Else Fails…

Are you done trying to make friends? Has the box full of fire ants done nothing to drive your neighbors out of town? We can help. Give us a call or send us a message, and we will do everything we can to find you the perfect house in the perfect neighborhood (everything short of running background checks on the neighbors, that is).

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